Shattered, Life on the Edge

Submitted by Molly Nessler

Tap, Tap

Tap, Tap

Morning rain

pelted the tin overhang

of her small apartment.

She stood naked,

her image reflected in the floor length mirror.

She imagined the long since healed

bruises, cuts, and bite marks.

She covered her body

as if a robe would hide the scars

She glanced at her reflection, again.

No change, only more pain

She closed her eyes, and tried to deny…

But his voice echoed in her mind.

“You are worthless”

“You filthy Slut”

“You know you wanted it.”

Don’t think.

it will all be over soon.

She sat on the colorful duvet covered mattress…

Images filled the hollows of her mind

broken shattered pieces, her life

Truth, lies she tells herself

to face another woeful day.

She wants to quit, disappear, run away.

Tears well to overflowing, she’s broken.

Don’t think about the pain

It will all be over soon.

She signs the note

addressed to loved ones

“Love always, M.”

With closed eyes,

She inhaled a cool September breeze

and switched the safety off.

 She caresses the nine-millimeter, Barretta

The grainy handle

and smooth slide.

She’s at peace now,

the end is here, she smiles

and places the barrel beneath her chin

Anchors Away, her ring tone

she reaches for the phone

and a final call…

“Hello”

her voice shaky

“Hey Mouse”

Quivering, she answers

her knees buckle, the caller says,

“I’m on my way to work

Just wanted to tell you I love you

and I’m thinking of you”

She melts to the floor

“Okay”

her only response

the phone goes dead.

Images of shattered pieces,

life passes in her mind’s eye.

Racked with pain and shame

she drops to her knees

and hears the voice again,

“I love you.”

She puts the Barretta down

and shouts

“I will live before I die, and I won’t hide!”

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