Submitted by Molly Nessler
Tap, Tap
Tap, Tap
Morning rain
pelted the tin overhang
of her small apartment.
She stood naked,
her image reflected in the floor length mirror.
She imagined the long since healed
bruises, cuts, and bite marks.
She covered her body
as if a robe would hide the scars
She glanced at her reflection, again.
No change, only more pain
She closed her eyes, and tried to deny…
But his voice echoed in her mind.
“You are worthless”
“You filthy Slut”
“You know you wanted it.”
Don’t think.
it will all be over soon.
She sat on the colorful duvet covered mattress…
Images filled the hollows of her mind
broken shattered pieces, her life
Truth, lies she tells herself
to face another woeful day.
She wants to quit, disappear, run away.
Tears well to overflowing, she’s broken.
Don’t think about the pain
It will all be over soon.
She signs the note
addressed to loved ones
“Love always, M.”
With closed eyes,
She inhaled a cool September breeze
and switched the safety off.
She caresses the nine-millimeter, Barretta
The grainy handle
and smooth slide.
She’s at peace now,
the end is here, she smiles
and places the barrel beneath her chin
Anchors Away, her ring tone
she reaches for the phone
and a final call…
“Hello”
her voice shaky
“Hey Mouse”
Quivering, she answers
her knees buckle, the caller says,
“I’m on my way to work
Just wanted to tell you I love you
and I’m thinking of you”
She melts to the floor
“Okay”
her only response
the phone goes dead.
Images of shattered pieces,
life passes in her mind’s eye.
Racked with pain and shame
she drops to her knees
and hears the voice again,
“I love you.”
She puts the Barretta down
and shouts
“I will live before I die, and I won’t hide!”